Kindness + Forgiveness
"Be kind and compassionate to one another. Forgive each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." – Ephesians 4:32
I believe this is one of the most challenging subjects to talk about—forgiveness and kindness, towards those who hurt us. But it's one of our Christian duties—and it's not my opinion—this is what the Bible says; if we have some problem with this, we need to chat to God about it. 😬
The road towards forgiveness is a hard one, and as C.S.Lewis once said: "Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until he has something to forgive." And it's so true. But because forgiveness to those who don't deserve it feels so hard, it shows us the extent of God's sacrifice on the cross for us.
When we understand this level of sacrifice that God himself, the Holy God, did for us, we cannot feel entitled to keep an unforgiving attitude towards others. Such an attitude from those who call Jesus their Saviour and Friend contradicts what we say we believe and have received.
Our culture is an unforgiving one—it's a cancelling culture. We have heard, and we even may have experienced it. One mistake and you are out. There's no space for dialogue, repentance and growth. However, the Kingdom’s culture is different, and its followers need to embrace it entirely in the other way.
What makes the followers of Jesus irresistible, besides the freedom we have received? It's our unity that comes from a forgiven and kind culture. Jesus Himself said in John 13:35, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." The context of this verse is Jesus speaking to his disciples about how they should behave with one another and not necessarily with people outside. Our relationship with one another should be an irresistible window for people who don’t know Jesus, to see something that can transform the world.
If we don't start first loving those who sit next to us in church, our family and the body of Christ, we won't be able to love people outside in the right way. If we don't love those walking in the same direction first, it will be impossible to love those who don't. The love that impacts the world is the one that is active first to those around us. That's how people will see a difference.
The Kingdom’s culture is a forgiving and kind one. Of course, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't challenge behaviours that don't represent the Kingdom we say we are part of. For the growth of the body of Christ, that is important. But we are a Kingdom of second chances...even 70x7 chances. It’s a Kingdom that restores and allows conversation, repentance and healing. No, it's not easy, but who said that following Jesus is easy? It was never like that, and it will never be. But the healing and the freedom that comes from a heart that lives such truth makes everything lighter.
When Paul says at the beginning of the verse, ‘Be kind and compassionate.’ That ‘be’ in the original means "become"—it's not something we simply achieve when we decide to follow Jesus; it's a continuous exercise. We are transformed into it by understanding what we have received in Christ, and also by the cycle of giving and receiving (‘one another’) forgiveness—as it's very likely that I'll also have to be forgiven at some point. Kindness, compassion and forgiveness walk side by side.
Forgiveness is a duty for those who follow Jesus if we want to walk in freedom. Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15: "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." It sounds harsh, but I believe that it's not possible to live a life under the blessing of God's forgiveness without extending it to those who we know. If we truly understand the forgiveness we have received, we can't think our 'neighbour' isn't worthy of ours.
So when we find it difficult to forgive someone, we should allow ourselves to go to the presence of God and remember what Jesus did for us (Romans 5:8), and how many times He has forgiven us. That's when I believe genuine forgiveness is born, from a heart that has embraced with gratitude the forgiveness it has received.
Charles Spurgeon said: "We may go from strength to strength in thoughts of goodness and duties of piety, but Jesus is higher still, and evermore we must be looking up to Him as we climb the sacred hill of Grace."
If Jesus is whom we look up to, follow and want to be like, so, forgiveness, kindness, and compassion are essential fruits that we need to bear as we climb this life-changing hill called Grace; "Freely you have received; freely give." (Matthew 10:8)
For you:
Forgiveness means allowing your heart to be kind and compassionate to people who have hurt you. It is also not talking about the person with anger or bringing up the story to damage the name of the person who hurt you. It is giving up the right to carry the offence. It is looking forward and not looking back. So this week I want to encourage you to reflect on forgiveness and allow God to speak to your heart about people that you need to forgive. I know that the process of forgiveness is often not easy, but be kind to yourself in this process as well, and trust that God wants to help you.
Revised by Elena Walker
