When life feels heavy
“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.” - Psalm 62:5
I don't know if you are feeling the weight of everything that is going on. I am, and it's been a challenging process. It's been tough and exhausting. The media is full of bad news—non-stop, with the same headlines and words, nothing new, just echoes of desperation and fear. And then, there's life. Well, life will continue to be life, and as we know all too well— it's not the easiest thing to manage.
I see my own life as layers. There's the bigger layer—the wide world and its issues that might or might not affect me directly. Then there's a layer under the bigger one, which are the issues of our country and/or locally that tend to affect us or people we know. Then, there's another layer that surrounds those we care about, which, of course, affects us. And finally, there's the last one—our inner layer; our personal life and what affects us personally, and that one is the hardest to ignore. Recently, it feels like all those layers are bright red as though everything is on high alert.
As the world has always been a mess, that layer is the easy one to ignore. But this year, it's been nearly impossible to do so as it has penetrated all the other layers of our life. There's no escape; no place to take refuge, no balance. And the outcome of that ultimately is that our emotions crumble.
What we are experiencing is not normal; it's beyond what our generation is used to, and causes a lot of anxiety in us. However, feeling overwhelmed at the moment isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign that you are present and aware. But when we feel like this, we need to look into our hearts and make sure we are guarding it (Proverbs 4:23)—that means we might have to redirect our steps and efforts, to be able to stand firm in this storm.
My redirection has meant two things. The first one was that I need to take a little break from my own social media for a few days and be more present for my family and close friends. We can still be aware of what's going on without being overstimulated. Social media tends to work as an echo. Everyone re-shares mostly the same content repeatedly, often without an exact resolution. Instead of helping, it becomes background noise; the result of that is numbness or cynicism.
I do want to be aware of the issues, to understand them and try to find ways that I can change myself first and then help others, but I know that if I become numb, I simply start to ignore the issue—and that's not what I want to do. So my first step was to reduce the amount of unnecessary noise around me, to rest my heart, and to be able to focus more efficiently on my next step.
The second but the most important thing: I'm trying to find refuge solely in God's presence, as it says in Psalms 62:5-8:
"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress; I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honour depend on God;
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."
I do love how the internet facilitates so much in our generation. But we know how much it takes away a lot of our time before God. The internet isn't the problem; I am the problem—because I would rather forget the difficulties around me by numbing my brain through mindless scrolling—rather than going to the presence of God, placing those things in His hands, and allowing Him to renew my mind.
So when I feel overwhelmed, I know that it means—at least in my personal experience—that I have been finding 'refuge' in things that are short-term solutions rather than in God's presence; the one that will transform how I feel from within so that I can then help others. And I know I can't help others if my heart is weak and if I'm feeling empty. Otherwise, I'm just like those abandoned warehouses that only resounds noises; no life within, nothing new or fresh to bring.
When King David felt heavy and tired of the troubles surrounding Him, he would bring them to the presence of God and cry out before Him. Many of the Psalms are David bringing his laments and desperation to the presence of God in a hidden place. Usually, he would start the prayer/song that way, but David would end with a song of praise. Not necessarily because the circumstances changed, they hadn't—but because there's a genuine transformation when we understand that God is our refuge.
If currently, you are feeling overwhelmed; If you feel like all the layers in your life are bright red and feel heavy, I want to encourage you to find your refuge and rest in God's presence. Surround yourself by the Word of God, spend some time on your own, and pour your heart out before Him. Let the words of your heart, your mind, and what comes from your mouth be a resounding sound from Heaven and not from a fearful and desperate soul.
For you:
Write it down a list of the things that are making you feel heavy, and bring them to the presence of God. Let Him know what's in your heart and allow Him to speak to you.
Revised by Elena Walker
